Insights & Guidance on Workplace Learning & Development and CPD | WorkplaceHero

How to spot the signs your manager is gaslighting you

Written by L&D Hero | May 29, 2023 8:19:00 AM

 

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic used to control and manipulate the victim into doubting their own thoughts, feelings, and memories. It is often used in the workplace by managers as a way to maintain power and authority over their employees. In this article, we will discuss how to spot the signs that your manager is gaslighting you, the impact it can have on an employee’s sense of self-worth and mental health, how to respond if you experience it, and where to seek help if needed. With this knowledge, you can take back your power from gaslighters and protect yourself from further harm.

What is gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the manipulator attempts to make their target doubt their own reality. This type of manipulation can be used to control and exploit a person, as it creates an environment of distrust and confusion. The term gaslighting comes from the 1944 film Gaslight where a husband tries to drive his wife insane by dimming the lights in their home while claiming that she is imagining it.

This tactic has been linked to many mental health issues including depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It can take place in any type of relationship but is particularly common in the workplace due to the power imbalance between two people. In this context, gaslighting can be used by managers as a way to maintain power over their employees.

Gaslighting can manifest itself in various ways including denying facts or events that have occurred, making false accusations, invalidating opinions or feelings, blaming or shaming others for no reason, and manipulating language and conversations to confuse someone else's understanding of reality. By doing this, those who are gaslighting seek to gain control over another person’s thoughts and behaviour.

It is important for employees who think they may be victims of gaslighting in the workplace to recognise these signs early on so they can protect themselves from further harm. Taking back your power from gaslighters is key in order to maintain your sense of self-worth and mental health.

Red flags that your manager is gaslighting you

Gaslighting is a subtle form of psychological manipulation that can be hard to identify. It’s important to be aware of the red flags that may indicate your manager is engaging in this kind of behaviour.

One common sign of gaslighting is when your manager attempts to manipulate your emotions, making you feel guilty, ashamed, or embarrassed. This could involve them invalidating your opinions and feelings or blaming you for their own mistakes or shortcomings. They may also attempt to discredit any evidence that contradicts their narrative.

Another sign is when they make you question your own memory and perception of reality by denying events ever occurred or claiming conversations never happened. They may also attempt to gain control over the situation by gossiping about you to other employees or coworkers and then attempting to discredit any claims made against them.

Finally, they may try to isolate you from friends and family members in order to create a power imbalance between the two of you. Gaslighters often use this tactic as a way of gaining control over the situation and making it harder for victims to speak out without fear of repercussions from their manager.

It’s important to recognise these signs early on in order to protect yourself from gaslighting and take back your power. If you experience any of these red flags, it’s best not to confront your manager directly but instead seek help from trusted colleagues, friends, family members, or mental health professionals who can provide support and advice on how best to handle the situation.

The impact of gaslighting in the workplace

Gaslighting in the workplace can have a devastating impact on employees. It can lead to a decrease in morale and productivity, damage relationships and trust among coworkers, cause an increase in absenteeism and tardiness, create a hostile work environment, and ultimately, lead to an increase in mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and burnout.

The effects of gaslighting are far-reaching. Employees who experience gaslighting may feel isolated from their peers or colleagues due to the lack of support they experience from their manager. Gaslighting can also cause feelings of confusion and doubt as victims are manipulated into questioning their own memory or perception of events. This can have long-term psychological effects as individuals become more susceptible to manipulation by others.

On a wider scale, gaslighting has financial implications for employers too; it often leads to higher levels of absenteeism and employee turnover which results in decreased productivity and increased hiring costs. It is also important to note that this type of behaviour is unethical; it creates an atmosphere of fear which prevents employees from speaking up about wrongdoing or seeking help if needed.

All these factors should be taken into consideration when assessing the potential consequences of gaslighting in the workplace. It is essential for companies to recognise the signs early on before any lasting damage is done so that appropriate measures can be taken against perpetrators. Ultimately, it is important for both employers and employees alike to ensure that everyone feels respected at work so that they are able to reach their full potential without fear or intimidation tactics being used against them.

How to respond to gaslighting

Gaslighting in the workplace can be difficult to manage, but it is possible to take back power and protect yourself. The most important thing is to understand the power dynamics at play and recognise that you have rights as an employee. Here are a few tips on how to respond:

  1. Take Care of Yourself: It's important to prioritise self-care and practice healthy coping mechanisms such as exercise, meditation, or journaling to maintain your mental health amidst a stressful situation.
  2. Build a Support System: Reach out for help from trusted colleagues, friends, family members or mental health professionals who can provide emotional support and offer helpful advice if needed.
  3. Document Incidents of Gaslighting: Record any attempts by your manager to manipulate emotions or discredit evidence so that you have evidence in case you need it later on.
  4. Set Boundaries with Your Manager: Communicate clearly with your manager about the kind of behaviour that is acceptable in the workplace and what isn’t tolerated. Establish clear consequences for any transgressions so that they know there will be repercussions for their actions if they continue trying to gaslight you.
  5. Learn To Trust Your Own Instincts: Pay attention to signs that something isn’t right and trust your own judgement when it comes to dealing with manipulative behaviours from others – whether it be a manager, colleague or friend - even if they try to convince you otherwise.

By taking these steps, employees can stand up against gaslighting in the workplace and take back their power over their own lives

Seeking professional help if you experience gaslighting

When dealing with gaslighting, professional help is a key step in regaining control. Seeing a mental health specialist can provide an environment that is safe and encouraging to discuss the experience and discover ways to manage it. It may not be easy to share such personal matters, but it is important to recognise that you are not at fault and you deserve aid.

In some cases, legal action should be taken if the company does not address the circumstance or if the manager's conduct has become hazardous or violent. A lawyer can offer direction on how best to go about it.

Realizing you are not alone can also be beneficial when facing gaslighting. Making your voice heard against gaslighting could be frightening, so having close friends, family members, and dependable coworkers who will listen without judgement might offer much-needed support.

To protect yourself from further harm caused by gaslighting, setting limits with your supervisor and learning how to rely on your own wisdom again are essential steps. Becoming stronger emotionally can make a huge difference when dealing with difficult scenarios like this in the workplace.