Conflict resolution styles
Conflict at work is normal. What matters is how it is handled. The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) describes five styles based on two dimensions: assertiveness (concern for your own goals) and cooperativeness (concern for others' goals).
When you disagree with someone you:
High assertiveness, low cooperativeness. You pursue your own concerns at the other person's expense. This is a power-oriented mode that can be appropriate in emergencies, when an unpopular decision must be made, or when you know you are right and the issue is critical. Overused, it damages relationships and shuts down dialogue.
Choosing the right mode
No single style is right for every situation. Effective people read the context and flex their approach:
- Use competing sparingly, in genuine emergencies or on principle issues.
- Use collaborating when the relationship and outcome both matter.
- Use compromising when you need a workable answer quickly.
- Use avoiding to cool things down or buy time, not to dodge difficult conversations.
- Use accommodating to build goodwill or when you genuinely care less than the other person.
Most people have one or two default modes. Knowing yours - and stretching into the others when the situation calls for it - is a core leadership skill.
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