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How to deal with difficult people
Jay Johnson - TEDx Talks
Jay Johnson explores difficult interactions and our responses to conflict. Apply it at work by noticing your own stress response and focusing on specific behaviour rather than writing someone off as a difficult person.
Key takeaways
- Notice your own response before reacting to someone else's behaviour.
- Describe the behaviour causing a problem instead of labelling the whole person.
- Look for a more constructive response while keeping appropriate boundaries.
Reflect on it
- What specifically makes one interaction difficult for me?
- What could I change in my response without accepting unacceptable behaviour?
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Jay Johnson's TEDxLivoniaCCLibrary talk explores how we approach people we find difficult. For workplace learning, the useful question is not just how to change someone else, but how to understand the interaction and respond more deliberately.
From labels to behaviour
Calling a colleague difficult can obscure the actual problem. Are they interrupting, missing an agreed deadline or responding sharply? Naming observable behaviour makes it easier to discuss the issue without judging their whole character.
Applying it at work
Think of a recent interaction that left you frustrated. Separate what happened from what you assumed it meant. Notice your own stress response, then consider a response that addresses the behaviour clearly and calmly.
For example, focus a follow-up on the missed agreement and its impact rather than speculating about someone's motives. Give them room to explain, while being clear about what needs to happen next.
Do not explain away harm
Understanding another perspective does not mean tolerating bullying, harassment or unsafe behaviour. Use the relevant workplace process and seek support when needed.
Read alongside the talk
Explore de-escalating workplace conflict and constructive disagreement with Margaret Heffernan.
Turn it into CPD
Watch the talk, reflect on an interaction and log a practical next step in your free Passport.
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