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10 ways to have a better conversation
Celeste Headlee - TED
Radio host Celeste Headlee shares ten simple rules for conversations where both people genuinely listen and learn something.
Key takeaways
- Be present - do not multitask while someone talks.
- Ask open questions and go with the flow.
- Keep it brief and do not repeat yourself.
Reflect on it
- In my last difficult conversation, how much was I listening versus waiting to speak?
- Which one rule could I try in my next one-to-one?
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Celeste Headlee has interviewed thousands of people as a radio host. In this short TED talk she shares the ten rules she relies on to have conversations that actually go somewhere.
Why it is worth 12 minutes
Most workplace communication training focuses on what to say. Headlee focuses on how to listen - being present, staying curious and letting go of the need to steer. It is a practical companion to one-to-ones, supervision and difficult conversations.
The ten rules in brief
- Do not multitask - be fully present.
- Do not pontificate - assume you have something to learn.
- Use open-ended questions.
- Go with the flow and let thoughts come and go.
- If you do not know, say so.
- Do not equate your experience with theirs.
- Try not to repeat yourself.
- Stay out of the weeds - people care about the person, not every detail.
- Listen - the most important rule of all.
- Be brief.
How it links to communication theory
Headlee's talk is about listening habits rather than a formal model. If you want the theory behind why messages get lost, read our guide to Argyle's communication cycle, which breaks a conversation into stages from idea to understanding. For practical skills, see how to improve active listening skills.
Turn it into CPD
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