Promoted above your peers: how to manage your former teammates

Being promoted within your team can feel more awkward than joining as an outsider. Yesterday, you were sharing frustrations about the rota. Today, you may be responsible for allocating it.

The answer is to make your new responsibilities explicit, agree fair ways of working and address concerns consistently, while remaining approachable. You do not need a new personality or unnecessary distance from colleagues. You do need boundaries that everyone can understand.

What does managing former teammates mean?

Managing former teammates means taking formal responsibility for people who previously worked alongside you as equals. Your responsibilities may now include allocating work, supporting development, reviewing performance and making decisions that affect colleagues’ opportunities.

The central change is accountability, not personal worth. You have not become more important as a person. You have become responsible for decisions you could previously leave to someone else.

This is a role transition, not a branded leadership model. There is no single script that guarantees success. The practical task is to replace assumptions carried over from the old relationship with clear expectations for the new one.

Why this transition matters

Internal promotion brings advantages. You understand the work, know the team’s strengths and may already have colleagues’ trust.

However, familiarity can make difficult conversations harder:

• A friend may expect early access to information.
• Someone who also applied for the role may question your decisions.
• You may avoid addressing a concern because you previously tolerated it.
• Other colleagues may interpret ordinary friendliness as favouritism.
• You may overcorrect by becoming unusually formal or demanding.

In FE and Skills settings, these tensions can affect teaching allocations, assessor caseloads, learner support and development opportunities. In other workplaces, they may shape shifts, project assignments or access to flexible working.

There is relevant evidence, although it does not establish one ideal method for managing former peers. The Health and Safety Executive identifies role clarity as an important part of managing work-related stress. Amy Edmondson’s 1999 research examined team psychological safety, meaning a shared belief that a team is safe for interpersonal risk-taking, and found an association with learning behaviour.

The practical implication is to make responsibilities clearer while keeping it possible to ask questions, acknowledge mistakes and challenge decisions. Psychological safety does not mean avoiding accountability.

Reset expectations without reinventing yourself

Before announcing how you intend to manage, clarify what you are actually authorised to do.

Ask your own manager:

• Which decisions can I make independently?
• What requires approval, including workload, leave and flexible working?
• What inherited performance concerns have already been discussed?
• What support is available from HR or a management mentor?
• What should I escalate immediately?

Ask your manager to confirm your remit to the team. You should not have to establish authority through hints or increasingly forceful reminders.

Then hold a short team conversation. Explain what changes and what stays the same. Avoid either extreme: “Nothing will change” is unlikely to be true, while “Things are going to be different around here” creates unnecessary uncertainty.

Wording for the first team conversation

“I’m pleased to be taking on this role, and I know it changes how we work together. I’m still the same person, but I now have responsibility for workload, support and performance across the team.

“I want decisions to be understandable and fair. Friendship or how long we’ve worked together won’t determine access to opportunities or how concerns are handled.

“Over the next fortnight, I’ll meet each of you to understand what is working, what gets in the way and what you need from me. We’ll also clarify priorities and how decisions will be made.

“You can disagree with me and raise concerns. I may not always be able to share confidential information, but I’ll explain decisions as fully as I can.”

Do not ask colleagues to reassure you that the promotion has not changed your relationships. They need space to adjust without managing your feelings too.

Use individual meetings to establish a working agreement

Meet everyone, not just close friends or people you expect to find difficult. Use a consistent structure, but allow different concerns to emerge.

Useful questions include:

1. What should I understand about your current workload?
2. What is helping you do your best work?
3. Where are expectations or responsibilities unclear?
4. How do you prefer to receive routine feedback?
5. What development would be useful?
6. Is there anything about this transition that we should discuss?

You might open with:

“We’ve worked together as colleagues, so I don’t want to pretend we’re starting from scratch. Equally, I don’t want to assume I already know what you need. Let’s agree how we’ll work together in these new roles.”

Close with specific agreements about priorities, support and check-ins. Keep brief, factual notes in the appropriate system and share agreed actions. This is ordinary management practice, not a secret file on former friends.

If someone also applied for your role, acknowledge that without demanding an emotional disclosure:

“I recognise this may be a difficult transition. You don’t have to discuss the recruitment outcome with me. I do want us to have a respectful working relationship, and I’d like to understand your priorities and development goals.”

Do not assume disappointment means disloyalty. Address observable conduct if necessary, rather than trying to judge someone’s attitude from their initial reaction.

Keep friendships, but remove unfair advantages

You do not have to stop having lunch with a colleague because you now manage them. You do need to consider what others can reasonably observe.

The important boundary is not “never socialise”. It is do not let personal closeness become privileged access.

For example:

• Share work announcements through channels everyone can access.
• Apply clear criteria to desirable assignments and development opportunities.
• Keep confidential employment information out of social conversations.
• Avoid gossip about colleagues and speculation about organisational decisions.
• Declare relevant conflicts under your organisation’s policy.

Fairness does not always mean identical treatment. A reasonable adjustment, agreed working pattern or differing development need may justify a different arrangement. Explain the decision-making principles without disclosing private details.

If a friendship is particularly close, discuss proportionate safeguards with your manager or HR. Another manager might review a sensitive pay or progression decision. This is not automatically necessary for every workplace friendship.

Example: allocating opportunities in an FE curriculum team

A newly promoted curriculum manager must nominate someone for an external development programme. Their closest colleague asks informally to attend.

Rather than agreeing over lunch, the manager explains the opportunity to eligible staff, shares the selection criteria and considers expressions of interest. Where practical, another manager checks the decision.

The friend can still be selected if they best meet the criteria. Fairness means avoiding both favouritism and reverse favouritism, where friends are unfairly excluded to demonstrate impartiality.

A useful response is:

“I’m glad you’re interested. Because this is a limited opportunity, I need to consider it against the same criteria for everyone. Please send me how it would support your role and development.”

Address early performance concerns with facts and support

New managers often make one of two mistakes: delaying a necessary conversation to protect a relationship, or becoming unusually severe to prove they can manage.

Neither helps. Address concerns promptly and proportionately, using the organisation’s procedures.

A practical conversation structure

1. Describe the specific concern.
Use observable facts, not labels such as “uncommitted” or “difficult”.

2. Explain the impact.
Connect the issue to learners, colleagues, customers, safety or agreed responsibilities.

3. Ask for the colleague’s account.
Check for unclear instructions, competing priorities, insufficient training, health issues or barriers requiring adjustments.

4. Agree the expectation and support.
Be clear about what must happen, by when and what you will do to help.

5. Set a review date.
Record the agreement and explain the next step if the concern continues.

For an informal conversation, you could say:

“The last three reports were submitted after the agreed deadline. That meant colleagues could not complete the next stage on time. I’d like to understand what got in the way before we agree a plan.”

Do not disguise a formal meeting as a casual chat. If formal action is being considered, follow the relevant procedure, including notice and accompaniment rights where applicable.

Example: overdue apprenticeship reviews

A newly promoted team leader notices that a former teammate has several overdue progress reviews.

The colleague says, “You know what our caseloads are like. You used to say the same thing.”

The manager responds:

“Yes, and workload is still something I need to take seriously. I’m not dismissing it. We also need a reliable plan for these reviews because delays affect learners’ support and progress. Let’s look at the caseload and agree what is realistic.”

They discover uneven allocations and repeated employer cancellations. They agree a revised schedule, some redistribution of work and a weekly check-in.

If deadlines continue to be missed despite clear expectations and appropriate support, the manager follows the performance procedure. Understanding context does not mean leaving the concern unresolved.

If you previously contributed to the same problem, acknowledge that honestly. Avoid implying an expectation was consistently enforced when it was not.

A practical first-month checklist

Treat this as a planning aid, not a rigid timetable.

First week: clarify

• Confirm your authority, priorities and escalation routes.
• Hold the team conversation.
• Schedule individual meetings.
• Learn the relevant employment and confidentiality procedures.

Second week: listen and agree

• Complete initial individual meetings.
• Clarify responsibilities and immediate priorities.
• Identify workload pressures and unresolved concerns.
• Agree how people should raise urgent issues.

Weeks three and four: follow through

• Address concerns you have identified rather than storing them up.
• Explain significant allocation decisions using relevant criteria.
• Deliver the support you promised.
• Ask: “What am I doing that helps, and what should I adjust?”

Reliability matters more than an impressive opening speech.

Limitations and common misunderstandings

Not every issue should start informally. Serious misconduct allegations, harassment, discrimination, safeguarding concerns or immediate safety risks may require prompt referral through the appropriate procedure. Do not promise secrecy or investigate matters beyond your authority.

Being approachable does not mean being constantly available. Set reasonable contact arrangements and explain urgent escalation routes.

Consultation does not mean every decision requires agreement. Listen genuinely, then decide within your remit and explain the reasoning.

A communication script cannot fix structural problems. Impossible workloads, unclear authority or inconsistent organisational policies need action beyond the individual relationship. Escalate them rather than presenting them as failures of resilience.

Coaching and mediation have different uses. Coaching can help someone develop skills. Mediation may help with some relationship conflicts. Neither replaces clear instructions, appropriate investigation or formal procedures where these are necessary.

For employment matters, use your organisation’s policies and seek qualified advice when needed. Acas guidance applies to Great Britain; Northern Ireland has separate employment arrangements and the Labour Relations Agency.

Summary and your next step

Managing former teammates successfully means staying human while making your responsibilities visible.

Be warm without giving privileged access. Be fair without assuming everyone needs identical treatment. Address concerns with evidence, curiosity and follow-through. You do not need to become distant to become accountable.

Your next step: book an individual conversation with every team member and use the same three opening questions: What is working? What is getting in the way? What do you need from me in this role?

Sources and further reading

• HSE: Management standards, role. Guidance on clear responsibilities and avoiding conflicting roles.
• Edmondson: Psychological safety and learning behavior in work teams. Primary research published in 1999, relevant to speaking up and team learning rather than a specific prescription for internal promotions.
• Acas: Disciplinary procedure, step by step. Guidance on handling concerns and following fair procedures.
• Acas: Code of practice on disciplinary and grievance procedures. The statutory code relevant to disciplinary and grievance processes in Great Britain.
• Acas: Reasonable adjustments. Guidance on supporting disabled workers and understanding adjustment responsibilities.
• Labour Relations Agency. Employment relations guidance and support for Northern Ireland.